Nathan’s Back!

nathanasnathanOf course, in my heart, he never really went away. Despite that miserable final season of Castle,  I know he’d land on his feet. And of course he has.

For a number of years, the main reason people seemed to visit this site (other than book reviews and shameless self-promotion of my own books, of course) was to contemplate the magic that is Nathan Fillion. Don’t believe me? I have the stats to prove it. For a while, it seemed like Nathan should be paying me his publicist’s fee. But then I got busy with career stuff and kid stuff and marriage stuff and library stuff and kind of neglected Nathan for a while.

Today, I intend to start rectifying that mistake!

So here’s Nathan in a short fan film, I think it first popped up at San Diego Comic Con this month.  It’s Nathan as Nathan. Nathan Drake, that is. Apparently, Nathan Drake is a video game version of Indiana Jones. So maybe a male Lara Croft?

Who cares, it’s Nathan-licious and that’s what counts, right? More Nathan news to come, fellow Fillion fans…

Advertisements

Cheating on Captain Tightpants

12931816-large

Yes, it’s true. I’ve been cheating on Captain Tightpants. If you read this blog, then by now you must know of my great love for Nathan “Captain Tightpants” Fillion. No, he doesn’t really do the tightpants look  in his current role as Richard Castle. The ugly truth is, I think he’s put on a few too many pounds these last couple of years. Also, there’s an age where the tightpants look just starts to seem a little desperate. I’m not pointing any fingers in accusation, mind you, since I too am now at the age and the weight which preclude looking sexy in tight pants. But surely you know I’m not so shallow as to be cheating on my man because of his age or his weight.

No, it’s more because he’s not there for me anymore. That’s usually what causes a relationship to end, isn’t it? I have to say that Castle has been looking tired for a couple of years now. For one thing, Castle himself has gone from charming bon vivant uber author to angsty, irritable househusband. Writing itself is rarely mentioned anymore and his regular poker games with real life novelists like James Patterson disappeared several seasons ago. This could work as a story turn too: maybe Castle could whinge about having severe writer’s block, meet with an angry agent or two, endure a sneering article in The New Yorker about what a has been he’s become. But no, we just never talk about it at all. He follows his woman around like a loyal puppy dog and seems to have no other goal in life. Frankly, it’s getting dull. And not just dull for me. Stana Katic and Nathan Fillion both look like they would rather be phoning this stuff in from their trailers. And who can blame them? Once you resort to the “Oh no! What will we do with this crying baby?!” plot device, it’s really time to turn out the lights and go home.

Nathan and Tom Lenk as the bumbling cops in "Much Ado."
Nathan and Tom Lenk as the bumbling cops in “Much Ado.”

I loved Nathan’s turn as a bumbling cop in Joss Whedon‘s brilliant Much Ado About Nothing, so don’t get me wrong. I firmly believe Captain Tightpants and his roguish wit are still hiding somewhere inside Nathan Fillion. But we probably won’t see that side of him again until he moves on to a new project. I’d like to tell you I’m cheating on Nathan with Dylan McDermott or James Spader, long time loves of mine who are starring in shows in the same time slot as Castle. But alas, both shows leave me cold. Instead, I’ve been DVR’ing someone else and watching him when I should be watching Nathan.

misonI’m sorry, Nathan, so sorry. But you just can’t compete with the surreal terror and wacky humor of Sleepy Hollow. This show is such a weird hot mess of wonderfulness, I cannot look away. The cast is brilliant — who knew Orlando Jones could play it serious? And as a police captain no less? Nicole Beharie  and Lyndie Greenwood bring so much barely repressed rage to their relationship as estranged sisters, it’s better than The Young and the Restless. And then there’s Tom Mison, a man so charismatic and sexy, he can actually carry a prime time TV show while speaking Middle English. Castle just can’t hold a candle to scenes like that.

Although I could totally envision a revitalized, post-Castle Nathan Fillion popping up in Sleepy Hollow. Perhaps as a mysterious priest whose real loyalties are somewhat ambiguous. Oh hey, we could call the character Caleb

Irrational Fear #4 – Car Underwater

When Eminem released his epic hit “Stan,” much of the public was appalled by Stan’s violence and misogyny. Me, not so much. I got that Stan was a character in a song, possibly based on someone who had stalked Eminem and maybe with a bit of Eminem himself thrown into the mix. And frankly, it was pretty catchy, especially with that riff from Dido’s “Thank You.”

So while everyone else was getting worked up about the collapse of civilization as we know it because of this song by this crazy-ass rapper, I was just fixating on that ending. You know, the bit where Stan locks his girlfriend in the trunk of the car and then drives off a bridge because Eminem never answered his fan mail.

Oh. My. God. Nightmares for weeks!

 

 

Now my man Nathan Fillion has gone and done it to me with a recent episode of Castle.

Holy Mother of God, Nathan, what are you trying to do to me??? I had to leave the room. Really.

I don’t like being underwater at all. Maybe it relates to a fall while walking on rocks in a stream when I was a little kid. It was one of those awful, unexpected moments — no time to take a breath, no time to prepare yourself for how much colder the water was than you expected it to be. Just cold and wet and chaos and a mouth and nose full of water. I came out of it fine, but the memory lingers. Combining that with being trapped in a small enclosed space — and in the DARK! which I also really hate — well, just the thought makes me crazy.

I know what you’re asking yourself: Hasn’t this girl seen Titanic?

No. Not the Leonardo and Kate epic. Not the 1950’s film A Night to Remember. Not that new series by the guy that wrote Downton Abbey. No, no, no, no and no again. I hate the idea of drowning in general, but I have a particularly demented obsession with being trapped in a car underwater. Since I’m also a pretty lousy swimmer, I probably wouldn’t be able to save myself in either case.

Nonetheless, I long ago decided I needed to be prepared. Certainly better prepared than Kate Beckett. She began Castle as a really kick-ass cop with a sensible short haircut, mad skills, a tough attitude, and the ability to seduce Eastern European crime bosses in Russian. In the last couple of seasons, she’s been reduced to being the sexually frustrated chick with long flowing hair and high heels who doesn’t know how to tell a guy to make a move or get lost. And worse than that, she doesn’t even have one of these *:

Image

How can she be a freaking cop and NOT have one of these? I have one of these and I’m just a neurotic underemployed freelance writer! And I know some cops and paramedics, and they are the ones who told me about this. So Kate Beckett should definitely go and get one, in case she gets stuck underwater again. It won’t help with the sexual frustration, but it would probably be safer than having Castle fire her service revolver to shoot out the windshield. Oy.

 

[* ResQMe LifeHammer – is a unique portable safety device that goes on your key chain. This innovative tool allows people to escape from being trapped in vehicles. Inspired by the LifeHammer, ResQMe is a revolutionary hand-held rescue tool that is amazingly powerful despite its tiny size. Because it goes on your keys, no installation is required and it’s always available at your fingertips! ResQMe goes where you go and provides real peace of mind to every motorist. No, they didn’t pay me to say that, and for all I know, it won’t even work when I actually need it. I’m hoping to never find out.]