So Castle is apparently tapping into my brain while I sleep and basing their episodes on all my not-so-secret fears. Or somebody there is reading my blog! How cool would that be??? Whoever it is, tell Nathan I said, “Captain.” He’ll know what I mean.
But now, about this tapping into my secret fears thing: not so cool! First there was the car underwater episode. And now, ZOMBIES. WTF?! I thought this was a cop show? Shouldn’t there be more — I don’t know, bank robberies or something? Well, I guess not. Because you guys know that an awful lot of people watching your show are secretly sci-fi geeks like myself who are still upset about Firefly‘s untimely death and would watch anything with Nathan Fillion in it.
In keeping with that knowledge, this week’s episode of Castle was all about “zombie walking,” which sounds like some sort of live-action face-to-face version of Urban Dead. It was actually a pretty fun episode, zombie makeup and all, but it was a disturbing coincidence after that car underwater episode. If the next episode involves Beckett getting trapped on a Ferris wheel or having a fatal car accident due to a sneezing fit, I’ll know they really ARE reading my blog.
Just in case they are reading my blog, here’s some other irrational fears they might want to use in the show. Consider this post the Executive Summary on My Irrational Fears.
Irrational Fear #3
There is no ride in an amusement park more terrifying than a Ferris wheel, folks. Because you’re stuck in that little gondola (or if it’s enclosed, you’re pretty much in a glass cage) and then they strand you at the TOP for, like, forever. At least, that’s how it feels to me. Or felt to me. I haven’t been on one in over twenty years, and I’m not going on one, even if you give me enough money to pay off my credit cards. Which is a whole insane lot of money. On second thought, maybe I would get on a Ferris wheel for that much. I think I’d have to be drunk first, though. And it would have to be, like, a kiddie Ferris wheel. Not this. And definitely not this. And positively not THIS:
Irrational Fear #2
Sneezing fit on highway causes me to veer into oncoming traffic and I die horribly. If you have allergies like I do, this isn’t even all that irrational. Considering how many articles I found on the Internet about this very thing happening to people, it may in fact be a serious safety issue that should be addressed by the President as soon as possible. Way more dangerous than all those French fries Michelle Obama does not want us to eat! Case (or cases) in point:
Sneezing Fit Reportedly Causes Fatal Accident
Sneezing Fit Causes Fatal Crash
There are more, lots more. In fact, I was just kidding around about this being a major fear UNTIL I googled it. Then I really became afraid. Maybe that’s what we should all really fear: the power of Google to help us discover whole new neuroses with the mere click of a button.
Irrational Fear #1
If you’ve read my other posts, you already know what I’m going to say. And of course, the fear of being one of the “normals” who survive a zombie apocalypse only to have zombies feast on my living flesh is clearly the MOST irrational of all fears, right? I mean, it could never really happen in a million years. Right?! RIGHT?!?!?!
Zombie Virus Possible Via Rabies-Flu Hybrid — That’s from National Geographic, folks! Not the freaking National Enquirer!
And then there’s this:
Could Scientists Create a Zombie Apocalypse Virus?
Not so funny now, is it, Rick Castle? And for the rest of you — stockpile the bottled water and sharpen your machete NOW!