The Captain Tightpants Year in Review

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Why, you are asking yourself, is this blog post entitled “The Captain Tightpants Year in Revew?”

Well, I checked out my blog stats (which I rarely do) and discovered something interesting. Apparently, my readers want more Captain Tightpants. And a little Jake Weber now and then wouldn’t hurt either. In fact, I should probably think about building an entire blog around my great love of Captain Tightpants, as you will see, if you read on. One of the neat stats WordPress offers its bloggers is a list of search terms people use in order to get to your site. Without further ado, here are mine.

LYNN’S TOP SEARCH TERMS FOR 2012:

1.  CAPTAIN TIGHTPANTS

2.  ResQMe

3.  CAPTAIN TIGHT PANTS (I know, right? I’m thinking maybe I just need to do the entire blog about Nathan Fillion from now on.)

4.  Lynn Reynolds (Well, that was unexpected. Probably they’re looking for this Lynn Reynolds, though.)

5.  Jake Weber (So maybe devote the blog to Nathan and Jake from now on???)

6.  Fear of Drowning in a Car (See? I knew I wasn’t the only one worrying about this.)

7.  Zombie Dog (See picture at right) 128860615052329781

8.  CAPTAIN TIGHTPANTS HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Now this is getting ridiculous. Either I need to mention Nathan Fillion a lot less, or he needs to start paying me his  publicist’s fee, for crying out loud.)

9.  Fear of Ferris Wheels (Yeah, I knew I wasn’t the only one worrying about that too.)

10. NATHAN FILLION GIRLFRIEND (Oh, for Heaven’s sake.)

Look, there’s clearly no need for me to say anything else. Now that I know where my readers are coming from, I know exactly how to target my blog. Happy New Year, Friends:

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Lynn Reynolds’ Career is Over

I saw this headline when I Googled myself earlier today — oh, come on, stop snickering. you know you do it too. It alarmed me because I wondered if maybe my boss was waiting until after the Memorial Day holiday to tell me some bad news. Then I remembered I’m my own boss, so I got really frightened for a second. Had I in fact fired myself and forgotten all about the incident? Was my life becoming one of those Staples ads where IT Mom quits but doesn’t tell all her other selves?

Then I realized who they were talking about, and I was really kind of sad in a whole new way. They meant THIS Lynn Reynolds.

photo from gogriz.com, official website of the University of Montana Athletics department

Yes, I know. He’s like the anti-Lynn Reynolds, really. Good looking, incredibly fit and athletic, and of course – male.

I discovered the anti-Lynn a few years ago when I first set up a Google alert on my pen name. At first his name just popped up on my alerts once in a rare occasion. Then it started happening more and more. About two weeks ago, there was this:

UM Runner Working Toward Olympics

I was as excited as if he were my own son. “Lynn’s training for the Olympics!” I told my husband. Since I frequently refer to my fiction-writing alter ego in the third person, the Man was quite perplexed. The Lynn Reynolds he knows used to run regularly but had a knee injury and then a rough recovery after some abdominal surgery a couple of years ago. Now running is a distant memory for her.

“What, huh?” he sputtered.

“Lynn might be in the Olympics. Grizzly Lynn!” I explained. Because the anti-Lynn Reynolds is a runner for the University of Montana and their mascot is a Grizzly.

“Oh, him,” the Man replied. “Cool!”

Then today there was this headline:

Reynolds’ Career Comes to an End in Austin

Turns out Lynn did not qualify for Nationals, which would have put him on course for the Olympics. Bad luck, that. It made me a little sad, because I’d been watching his progress from afar and quietly rooting for him. So no Olympics, but at least it looks like he had a great run (argh. couldn’t resist the pun) in his years as a Grizzly.

I wish him all the luck in the world in his future endeavors. As long as he doesn’t start writing novels. Especially chick lit and romantic suspense. Because I might get a little testy if a GUY started outselling me at writing chick lit suspense novels.