Breaking Up With My Boyfriend

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In the beginning, he was a bad boy — but strangely irresistible. The sort of man you felt almost compelled to obey.

 

 

Then he reformed. He became dashing and daring, trim and handsome beyond belief. He rescued damsels in distress, followed his own quirky code of honor and wore some amazingly tight pants. fillionfirefly1

 

 

 

And sometimes no pants at all!

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Then he hit the big time, and for a while, it was grand. The book signings, the card games, the feisty, sexy sidekick who spoke Russian and knew how to handle a gun. I didn’t even mind that she was a girl, or that she wasn’t a very good actress.

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She was almost as cool as he was, and they seemed to be having such fun together. And she could kick some butt. It was a fun ride.

But now, six years on, the thrill is gone. The worst thing possible has happened to Nathan and to Castle — success. An excess of success, in fact. The old reruns are on constantly, and the network just keeps on renewing this ratings powerhouse. The writers keep producing scripts and the actors keep acting, but I have a feeling the incredible greed of everyone involved is the only real reason Castle continues to occupy airwaves. Does anyone really still care at all whether these two crazy kids finally tie the knot?

Around Season Four, I stopped caring. And frankly, it looked to me like Stana Katic and Nathan Fillion didn’t much care anymore either. But I kept watching, because they were like old friends. Boring old friends, but friends nonetheless. After all, they still sometimes made me laugh and Nathan was still Nathan.

This season, they really had me going for a few episodes. This was going to be the BIG SEASON. Finally, those two crazy kids really WOULD tie the knot! The entire season was built around it. And the finale was almost note-perfect. A return to the quirky humor and wacky shenanigans of early seasons. And a surprise visit from every sci-fi geek girl’s favorite lovable goof, Eddie McClintock. After discovering she’d drunk-married Eddie some fifteen years earlier and going on a quest to dissolve the marriage, Beckett at last stood in a palatial vacation home in the Hamptons, donning her mom’s wedding dress for the big day. The setting was perfect and the outdoor wedding in the garden could have been a lovely finish to the episode, the season, and even the series.

— SPOILER ALERT —

But no. The Powers That Be decided to repay six years of fan loyalty and an entire season of romantic build-up with a flaming car wreck and a missing Rick Castle. Because apparently, there is no fate more boring and wretched than finding your soulmate, recognizing that person as such, and — well, you know — settling down. Ewwwww! Better to make everyone think the hero is dead in a flaming car wreck than to do something as icky as have him get married.

I would like to think that Nathan did his part. I would like to think that he at least questioned it a bit, that he glared at the writers when they gave him the last page of the Season Finale script. Maybe he arched his eyebrow in that manly way and lowered his head (so that he could get down to their eye level). Maybe he even said: “Seriously? Are we seriously doing this?” And then probably he talked to his agent and cooler heads prevailed. And good for Nathan, because once this show ends, he’s probably going to be set for life financially. So I don’t blame him at all.

But I just can’t stay with him anymore. I’m breaking up with my boyfriend. Next season, I won’t be tuning in to find out what really happened to Rick Castle. Because as far as I’m concerned, he made it to the Hamptons on time and in one piece, married his sweetie and then Castle faded to black for good. THE END.

Cue spin-off series featuring Ryan and Esposito.

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Comments

  1. carolynmat says:

    I agree with Ann, very witty and well-written. I have never been a fan of Castle. It has always been on against other shows I like. The few times I’ve watched Castle, I wasn’t impressed. I do get angry when the powers that be go for the cheesy ending rather than the right ending.

  2. As much as I love Nathan, I gave up on Castle after season one. So you are a much better girlfriend than I.

    • I thought it was fun until about Season Four. There used to be a lot more depiction of him as a real writer too — hanging out with his real-life mystery writer buddies like James Patterson, doing book tours and signings, scattering drafts of stories all over his home office. Now he’s just a clingy house-husband who follows Beckett everywhere and that’s just annoying. I think I’ve been secretly hate-watching it for several seasons now, and life’s too short to hate-watch anything.

  3. I so agree with you. Sometimes when you love something, you have to let it go. I’m going to have to let go of Castle. But he and I will always have Firefly…

  4. Very witty and well-written. I quit watching a couple of years ago. Some of these series can go past their due date.

    Love the pic of Ryan and Esposito.

    • Even if you gave up on the show, you should find the episode from this season called “That 70’s Show.” Ryan and Esposito start channeling these two very Starsky & Hutch type cops in that episode and they were very funny. I would totally watch a Ryan and Esposito spin-off series, and I’m sorry the “Castle” producers didn’t decide to wrap the show up neatly and then move on to something new. Oh well.

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