Irrational Fear #4 – Car Underwater

When Eminem released his epic hit “Stan,” much of the public was appalled by Stan’s violence and misogyny. Me, not so much. I got that Stan was a character in a song, possibly based on someone who had stalked Eminem and maybe with a bit of Eminem himself thrown into the mix. And frankly, it was pretty catchy, especially with that riff from Dido’s “Thank You.”

So while everyone else was getting worked up about the collapse of civilization as we know it because of this song by this crazy-ass rapper, I was just fixating on that ending. You know, the bit where Stan locks his girlfriend in the trunk of the car and then drives off a bridge because Eminem never answered his fan mail.

Oh. My. God. Nightmares for weeks!

 

 

Now my man Nathan Fillion has gone and done it to me with a recent episode of Castle.

Holy Mother of God, Nathan, what are you trying to do to me??? I had to leave the room. Really.

I don’t like being underwater at all. Maybe it relates to a fall while walking on rocks in a stream when I was a little kid. It was one of those awful, unexpected moments — no time to take a breath, no time to prepare yourself for how much colder the water was than you expected it to be. Just cold and wet and chaos and a mouth and nose full of water. I came out of it fine, but the memory lingers. Combining that with being trapped in a small enclosed space — and in the DARK! which I also really hate — well, just the thought makes me crazy.

I know what you’re asking yourself: Hasn’t this girl seen Titanic?

No. Not the Leonardo and Kate epic. Not the 1950’s film A Night to Remember. Not that new series by the guy that wrote Downton Abbey. No, no, no, no and no again. I hate the idea of drowning in general, but I have a particularly demented obsession with being trapped in a car underwater. Since I’m also a pretty lousy swimmer, I probably wouldn’t be able to save myself in either case.

Nonetheless, I long ago decided I needed to be prepared. Certainly better prepared than Kate Beckett. She began Castle as a really kick-ass cop with a sensible short haircut, mad skills, a tough attitude, and the ability to seduce Eastern European crime bosses in Russian. In the last couple of seasons, she’s been reduced to being the sexually frustrated chick with long flowing hair and high heels who doesn’t know how to tell a guy to make a move or get lost. And worse than that, she doesn’t even have one of these *:

Image

How can she be a freaking cop and NOT have one of these? I have one of these and I’m just a neurotic underemployed freelance writer! And I know some cops and paramedics, and they are the ones who told me about this. So Kate Beckett should definitely go and get one, in case she gets stuck underwater again. It won’t help with the sexual frustration, but it would probably be safer than having Castle fire her service revolver to shoot out the windshield. Oy.

 

[* ResQMe LifeHammer – is a unique portable safety device that goes on your key chain. This innovative tool allows people to escape from being trapped in vehicles. Inspired by the LifeHammer, ResQMe is a revolutionary hand-held rescue tool that is amazingly powerful despite its tiny size. Because it goes on your keys, no installation is required and it’s always available at your fingertips! ResQMe goes where you go and provides real peace of mind to every motorist. No, they didn’t pay me to say that, and for all I know, it won’t even work when I actually need it. I’m hoping to never find out.]

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Comments

  1. Maryellen says:

    I am with you on the car submersion fear. As a kid I would always hold my breath every time we drove over a bridge. No less fearful today either, although I have stopped holding my breath. I don’t enjoy swimming very much either. I have the handy tool gizmos in the console to break the car glass, but like the keychain idea better.

  2. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who has this odd fear! In the past few years I’ve started having nightmares about accidentally driving into deep water in my car. I even had one dream where I went deep under the water but I was still alive and I could hear all the metal creaking. It was terrifying and really lonely too. I’ve been through a phase where every time I drove over a bridge, I had to wind the windows down (even if it was freezing cold winter). Now I have a heavy hammer in my car. But the keychain is going to be my new friend.
    For me it is strange though, because I love the water. When I was a kid, I used to pretend I was a dolphin and dive in and out of the water for hours on end. Sometime I still do that when I go to the pool. But the car sinking thing is another story. I’m not sure where that comes from. Titanic or Pearl Harbour are two films I will never watch again.

    • I’m not sure where fears like this come from either, Rose. I guess that’s what makes them so irrational – and so hard to control! Thanks for stopping by!

  3. So, you just GAVE away the big blue beast (car) and you didn’t try out the ResQMe LifeHammer on it first? Waisted opportunity! I’m not saying you had to drive the beast into a large body of water first. You could have tested the Hammer whilst in the garage. (also wasn’t Nathan Fillion’s character “the Hammer” in Dr. Evil?)

    • Yes, Nathan Fillion was The Hammer. And I think we all know WHY. Darn, I never thought to try out the LifeHammer on one of the Windstar windows! But I think that would have made it a tad bit less valuable to The Salvation Army when they auctioned it off. So probably good I didn’t do it.

  4. Yes, choking. That, too.

  5. Oh, boy, can I ever identify with this fear. I have a big fear of drowning or suffocating. Specifically, I fear being kidnapped and having a piece of duct tape slapped over my mouth. Since my nose often stops up, I know I would suffocate if that happened. I realize the odds of that happening are about as slim as drowning, since I don’t/can’t swim very well and my bathing suit days are over. But just yesterday there was a scene in a movie I was watching and the guy had duct tape over his mouth and it freaked me out more than the fact the bad guys were getting ready to behead the guy with a sword.

    • ACK! Yes, yes, yes. I have chronic allergic rhinitis – the medical term for a perpetually stuffy nose – so I know just what you mean. I have the exact same thought when I see them duct tape someone’s mouth. Yikes, I wish you’d never mentioned it!

      • DO NOT watch a Fish Called Wanda. Just sayin’

      • A Fish Called Wanda is one of the funniest films in the history of films. I adore that movie. Yet I have no memory of a car being underwater in it. See how well I can block undesirable events from my mind? It’s like a superpower.

      • No car underwater. But a rather memorable scene where Kevin Kline has another character gagged and then puts french fries up his nose. I was alluding to the suffocation aspect of your fear.

      • Whew! I was wondering how I forgot the car underwater scene. French fries up nose are just too comically disgusting to frighten me.

  6. I share your fear of being underwater. I am deathly afraid of deep water and of drowning. It may be because of falling into a sinkhole in the ocean when I was little, or because my mother always said, “Don’t go in the water. You’ll drown.” Or to get metaphysical, maybe I drowned in another life. But I’m scared to death of drowning or of choking. I need to get a ResQMe. And I agree about Beckett. I don’t often watch Castle, but I liked Beckett better when she was a tough cop and not the babe she’s trying to be now.

    • Cara, I see your mom was almost as good at building confidence as mine was. It must be a Catholic thing. I’m probably doing the same thing to my kid!

      As for Castle, I don’t know what they’re trying to do with Beckett. She’s gotten too insecure and wimpy. Of course, she did get shot last season, so they could use that as an excuse for her wussy behavior. But mostly, they don’t. I think it’s just a classic case of a show going on too long and running out of steam. And yet I keep watching. . .

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